‘Suddenly I was a dad… it opened my eyes to womanhood’: Wholesome Parenting Thread About Realizations Men Had After Becoming Fathers

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Oct 5, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

After you have kids, your heart opens up in a way that is undescribable… here is this tiny little human who you love more than life itself, and you would do ANYTHING to protect them. 

They really open your eyes, make you feel young (and old at the same time because goodness gracious they are little pieces of work), and give you life. Adding joy, spreading saliva, the whole bit. You wish they wouldn't stick their tiny fingers into the holes in walls, and you pray they look both ways before they cross the street… suddenly you care intensely about another living being, who can't fend for themselves quite yet. 

Kids are great. They are also little monsters, but great. Today we have a wholesome thread posted to r/askmen, where men answered what they felt changed after they became fathers, specifically when they had daughters. Enjoy the heartwarming jokes, realizations, and all-around wholesomeness. Then, here is a waitress who pulled an adorable 'girl power' move when serving a couple at the restaurant she worked at.

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  • 01
    Font - What did you realize after having a daughter? I heard it's a really eye opening experience to become a father to a daughter for the first time. Has it changed your worldview, understanding of women, your wife, how you carry yourself, etc?
    via u/sleepfuls
  • 02
    Rectangle - ekim0072022 - 23 hr. ago. edited 19 hr. ago Male - in my mind still 30 years old Two daughters. Honestly, I never loved so hard or was loved as much. They are Irish Twins, 11 months apart. I worked long hours when they were growing up, but we made up for it every Saturday morning.
    via u/ekim0072022
  • 03
    Font - They were such outgoing, just funny girls who would talk my ear off. We would go on hikes and just talk for hours. Around maybe 7th or 8th grade, I lost them for a while - they turned inward as they experienced womanhood, and it was the hardest thing in the world for me to just STFU, be there when they
    via u/ekim0072022
  • 04
    Font - needed/wanted me, and let them be. They came back after about 9 or 10 months. Now they are in their 20s, grown, happy and self reliant, but we still talk almost daily. They are my reason. 2.8k Reply Share
    via u/ekim0072022
  • 05
    Font - Arcusinoz 1 day ago I was a single father with2 sons and a daughter, By the time she was 12, I was the only guy that I knew who had a charge account at "Bras and Things" By the time she was 13, I had encyclopedic knowledge
    via u/Arcusinoz
  • 06
    Font - regarding every type of Menstrual pad and which why and when all answered!!!When she was 14 we were driving to the supermarket and she turned to me and said "You really get me, dont you Dad". Never looked back!!!!! 42.8k 2.8k Reply Share
    via u/Arcusinoz
  • 07
    Font - JLoweBeard 23 hr. ago Currently sitting in a hospital room with my wife while she dozes and we await our daughter's birth. Thanks for this post. Got me a little misty-eyed. 1.2k Reply Share
    via u/JLoweBeard
  • 08
    Font - sixjasefive 1 day ago · edited 14 hr. ago Two things. One, I knew nothing about women just because I had my wife kinda figured out, and two....That the welcome home hug of my teenager can cure all negative emotions. It's like a daily reset. Reply Share 484
    via u/sixjasefive
  • 09
    Font - • 1 day ago Whatever you realize, I hope you teach her self respect and trust her when it comes to dating. Don't be that dad trying to intimidate her date. D Signed, A dad teaching his sons not to be d Reply Share 1.1k S.
    via u/D
  • 10
    Font - justaguylookinghappy 1 day ago It made me ashamed of past behaviors and how I need to be a better role model. I was never mean to women when I was single...I just lead a morally bankrupt lifestyle because I didn't
    via u/justaguylookinghappy
  • 11
    Font - think I needed to answer to anyone for how I acted. Now I see how I acted and am embarrassed. She taught me to be better, even when no one is looking. Reply Share 738
    via u/justaguylookinghappy
  • 12
    Font - ComplaintsHQ. 1 day ago No change at all. Just caused me to double down on being as there for her as I can, building as close of a bond as I can, and making sure she knows she can always 100% count on me.
    via u/ComplaintsHQ
  • 13
    Font - The thing in life I'm most proud of is the relationship I've built with my daughter. I hope it's armored her. 371 Reply Share
    via u/ComplaintsHQ
  • 14
    Font - taroba 22 hr. ago I realised how great my capacity to love was. I have never loved anything as much as that sweet child, no matter how bad my day is going just the idea of seeing her at the end of the day makes it all better.
    via u/taroba_
  • 15
    Font - As a person it's made me a lot more risk averse as in I drive a lot slower now, I dont hang around with certain people who I used to be go out with and so on ↑ 110 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/sleepftaroba_uls
  • 16
    Font - Mashed Potatoh - 22 hr. ago I'm a single dad, been on my own with her since she was a toddler. She's 17 now. Talking to her is a challenge sometimes because I have to watch my tone or body language. Sometimes if I'm too excited or critical, she can freeze up, thinking that I'm angry. I
    via u/MashedPotatoh
  • 17
    Font - learned it was best to just message her some things, such as "can you clean the dishes you use, I don't like leaving dirty dishes in the sink" because if I say it in person, I really need to be soft spoken or it can turn into a whole thing. Lots of it comes from my lack of patience and I
    via u/MashedPotatoh
  • 18
    Font - get annoyed telling her to do the same things every day. She gets an allowance of $40/week for helping me around the house, and it's basically so she'll help me with the rabbits and clean up after herself. I've lost the battle with her room though. That's another thing I've realized, girls
    via u/MashedPotatoh
  • 19
    Font - are often messy. Lol. My room is fairly clean and organized with most things in their place, but her room is wild 58 Reply Share
    via u/MashedPotatoh
  • 20
    Font - sleepfuls OP 20 hr. ago omg the messiness point is so true. My dad has 3 of us daughters and yeah he has totally given up. I've worked on being more clean and organized and now I help my younger sisters clean their room 15 Reply Share
    via u/sleepfuls
  • 21
    Font - · Major-Judgment-4008 1 day ago. edited 21 hr. ago I have 3 daughters, no son. When we were pregnant with the third i wished for a girl so hard because girls, that's what i knew. What did i realize?
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 22
    Font - How shallow we men are, in terms of being in touch with our emotions, openly talking about them and obviously that thinking with our little head. Imagine walking through a city with 3 tall, beautifull, blond, blue eyed, slender girls. Yeah, those looks....yikes. Honestly, my wife and daughters are way better humans than i am.
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 23
    Font - That gender doesn't mean a thing when it comes to having fun with your kids. They loved wrestling with me. One loves horseriding, me too. We spent countless hours together. One loves F1 racing and old cars. We have our yearly one on one days to the tracks. We all share the same passion for nature, we all love to visit musea, the beach and so on. I did one on
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 24
    Font - one hiking and camping with them, untill they became "too old to share a tent with dad". A bittersweet moment tbh. I honestly can't say i ever felt like "missing" having a son. I learned all about female hygiene products and birth control. Lived with Barbie for 15 years too. Had to see the movie with my girls.
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 25
    Font - Obviously it thaught me more respect for women. If only because it became clear to me what they have to do to stay safe when going out. I realised we men really are perceived a threat by women, regardless our intentions. I realised it's kind of an honor to get out of bed at 5 am to pick them up after going out in the city and see the sun rise on our way back
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 26
    Font - home, chatting about their night out. And the boyfriends. Little hy teenagers with a one track mind, trying to get into MY daughters p s. I handled it oke. My wife and i managed to create an environment where they can talk to us about anything, without being judged. I realised we raised sensible women,
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 27
    Font - making sensible decisions. I didn't like all those boys but knew my daughters handled them perfectly. No need to scare the poor bloke at the first date. It also made me feel lonely once in a while. Them talking about women's stuff i can't possibly relate to. Me laughing out
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 28
    Font - loud at some typical men's joke on TV and them looking at me like "what's funny?" In that way i like having SIL's. Now they're grown up. I'm very, very proud of them. D n, now i have tears in my eyes from all those memories...
    via u/Major-Judgment-4008
  • 29
    Font - Ancient Material5405 · 21 hr. ago I realized that my ability to negotiate with tiny dictators has greatly improved! 1.3k Reply Share
    via u/Ancient_Material5405

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wholesome good mood Joy parenthood heartfelt kids askreddit parenting hearts dad family askmen daughter relatable reddit thread realizations smile Father
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